A young businessman had just started his own firm. He rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques. Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?" The man said, "Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
A man was being interviewed for a job. "Were you in the service?" ask the interviewer. "Yes, I was a Marine," responded the applicant. "Did you see any active duty?" "I was in Vietnam for 2 years and I have a partial disability." "May I ask what happened?" "Well, I had a grenade go off between my legs and I lost both testicles." "You're hired. You can start Monday at 10 am." "When does everyone else start? I don't want any preferential treatment because of my disability." "Everyone else starts at 7 am but I might as well be honest with you. Nothing gets done between 7 and 10. We just sit around scratching our balls trying to decide what to do first."
An office manager had money problems & had to fire an employee, either Jack or Jill... He thought he'd fire the employee who came late to work the next morning.
Well, both employees came to work very early. Then the manager thought he would catch the first one who took a coffee break. Unfortunately, neither employee took a coffee break.
Then the manager decided to see who took the longest lunch break - strangely, neither Jack nor Jill took a lunch break that day, they both ate at their desk. Then the manager thought he'd wait & see who would leave work the earliest and both employees stayed after closing.
Jill finally went to the coat rack & the manager went up to her & said,
"Jill, I have a terrible problem. I don't know whether to lay you or Jack off."
Jill said, "Well, you'd better jack off, because I'm late for my bus."
Attention: Human Resources Joe Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found
hard at work in his cubicle. Joe works independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Joe never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always
finishes given assignments on time. Often Joe takes extended
measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping
coffee breaks. Joe is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Joe can be
classed as a high-calibre employee, the type which cannot be
dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Joe be
promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Attention: Human Resources Joe Smith was reading over my shoulder while I wrote the report sent to you earlier today. Kindly read only the odd numbered lines [1, 3, 5, etc.] for my true assessment of his ability.
A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says: Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I will allow one wish each". So the eager senior manager shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted "I want to be in Florida on beautiful beach, plenty of cash, food and cocktails."Pfufffff and he was also gone. The boss calmly said, "I want these two idiots back right now ." Pfuffff : p
A Man joined a big Multi National Company as a trainee. On his first day he dialed the pantry and shouted into the phone, "Get me a coffee quickly!" The voice from the other side responded,"You fool you've dialed the wrong extension! Do you know who you're talking to, dumbo?" "No", replied the trainee. "It's the Managing Director of the company, you fool!" The man shouted back, "And do you know who YOU are talking to, you fool?" "No.", replied the Managing Director. "Good!", replied the trainee and put down the phone!
A company, feeling it was time for a shake-up, hires a new CEO. This new boss is determined to rid the company of all slackers. On a tour of the facilities, the CEO notices a guy leaning on a wall. The room is full of workers and he thinks this is his chance to show everyone he means business! The CEO walks up the guy and asks, "And how much money do you make a week?" Undaunted, the young fellow looks at him and replies, "I make $200.00 a week. Why?" The CEO then hands the guy $200 in cash and screams, "Here's a week's pay, now GET OUT and don't come back!" Feeling pretty good about his first firing, the CEO looks around the room and asks, "Does anyone want to tell me what that slacker did here?" With a sheepish grin, one of the other workers mutters, "He's the pizza delivery guy."
Jack Hody Johnson (born May 18, 1975) is an American folk rock singer-songwriter, surfer and musician known for his work in the soft rock and acoustic genres. In 2001, he achieved commercial success after the release of his debut album, Brushfire Fairytales. He has since released four more albums, a number of EPs and surfing movies/soundtracks. He is also known for organizing an annual event, the Kōkua Festival. He currently has sold 8 million albums worldwide. His highest–selling album is Sing-A-Longs and Lullabies for the Film Curious George, with 4 million albums shipped worldwide, due to the success of the 2006 Curious George film. Notable songs from Johnson's repertoire include Upside Down, Flake, Sitting, Waiting, Wishing, If I Had Eyes, You and Your Heart and the widely-popular fan favourite, Better Together.
My impression of Mr. Wai Keat when he first join TOC is a small guy with dark skin. He really reminds me of the china man who came from "tong san" in my grandfather's time. After knowing him, he is definitely not a typical china man so to say. A nice and hardworking guy who loves to involved himself in nature, adventure and charity activities.
Let's take a look what our dear Wai Keat is doing during his free time : )
TOC STAFF AND STUDENT HELPER ARE SETTING UP TOC BOOTH.
TOC NEW DESIGN! GLOBAL, DYNAMIC AND PASSIONATE : )
OTHER COLLEGES BOOTH
TOC OFFICIAL FAIR ATTIRE. ALL THE 'F1 DRIVERS' ARE YOU READY?
STUDENT HELPERS ARE PREPARED AND WAITING FOR VISITORS TO COME IN
WE ARE OFFERING DIPLOMA IN AUTOMOTIVE AND MOTORSPORT TECHNOLOGY
OURBRAND NEW BROCHURE IS OUT!! TOC - IGNITE YOUR FUTURE !
STUDENT HELPER KEITH YAP IS EXPLAINING COURSES DETAILS TO CUSTOMERS
STUDENT HELPERS IVAN AND KEITH CHAN
PLEASE COME AND VISIT OUR BOOTH : )
A LOT OFVISITORS!! GOOD RESPONSE : )
ADMISSION MANAGER MR. LONNIE IS GIVING CONSULTATION
STUDENT HELPER IVAN CAN CONSULT IN 4 LANGUAGES INCLUDING MANDARIN : )
YOUNGSTERS WHO ARE INTERESTED IN OUR COURSES
___________________________________________________________________________________ Overall it was a successful event. Most of the visitors are surprised and impressed by our outfit. And more so TOC's name is getting more and more public attention as most of the visitors that came to our booth heard from us before either from TV, billboard, newspaper, friends and etc.
Last but not least, a important reminder for those who wants to pursue their dreams in automotive industry. Please visit us at TOC in our OTTO CAMP OPEN DAY !!
OTTO CAMP OPEN DAY Date : 15th JANUARY 2011 Time : 10.00am - 4.00pm Morning session : 10.00am Afternoon session : 2.00pm
Seats are limited. REGISTER NOW!
ADMISSION IS FREE!
Come and participate yourself in these activities : - EFI Component Inspection & Testing - Engine Power Balancing (Honda Jazz Engine) - Injector & Hi-Tension Cable Testing & Resistance Checking Using Multi-Meter - Battery Specific Gravity Inspection & Testing - Engine Mechanical Inspection - Engine Management Diagnostics - Air-Conditioning Testing - Career Talks by Experienced Personnel